424. "If I Could Talk I'd Tell You" The Lemonheads

"If I Could Talk I'd Tell You"
The Lemonheads
Car Button Cloth
1996

We alterna-hunks have a rough go of it. It's like, we have all this super important shit to say, but no one takes us seriously because we're really really good looking (but in an alterna-way).
At a meeting one time Brother Evan was talking about how he sometimes had so much super important shit to say, but no one took his songs seriously because of how really really alterna-good looking he was.
And we were all like, I know, right?
So this one time Rob Thomas showed up at a meeting, and Brother Eddie like wouldn't even let him in? And Rob Thomas was all, no hey wait, let me in, I'm an alterna-hunk too, you know, but like Brother Eddie was all no way dude, just because you have an earring and your band's name has a number in it doesn't make you alterna, you're just regular really really good looking, and you don''t have super important shit to say.
And me and Brother Anthony, we were both like, WHOA!
Then we went and nailed a bunch of chicks and did some heroin.