"Polyester Bride"
Liz Phair
Whitechocolatespacegg
1998
I happened to be working as a bartender when this record came out, so of course I loved hearing about Henry, Liz Phair's bartending friend. I hadn't been at it very long, and so was assigned the shifts when no one was there. This is good, as I was terrible at it. Sure, I could lovingly mix a cocktail that people would enjoy (that happened once), but if I got an order for, say, 2 frozen margaritas (one strawberry and one regular), a mudslide, and two frozen daiquiris, I would pretty much just look at my one blender and throw my hands in the air, and ask them to order something else.
I also didn't really do too much homework. I assumed I knew all the drinks anyone would ever order, so why bother with a recipe book? I was 22, I thought most drinks were tequila based. That, coupled with my refusal to look stupid by consulting a recipe book or by asking a customer how a drink was made led to more than one look of, "Oh, that's not right at all," on someone's face after they had tasted my approximation of an Old Fashioned.
Does that not have tequila in it? My bad.
But most people would refuse to call me on my incompetence. They would rather be nice than risk offending me and get to drink the beverage that they had actually ordered (and paid seven bucks for).
One time a tourist couple came in, a middle aged husband and wife, seemingly from the midwest somewhere. Big vacation in L.A., going to a bar in Beverly Hills. Hubby gets a draft beer (NAILED IT), wifey's feeling a bit adventurous. "I think I'll have a Stinger," she says.
A Stinger. Heard of it. Never made one. Sounds dangerous. Probably has tequila in it.
Starts coming back to me. A stinger has creme de menthe. Tequila, creme de menthe, check.
White or green creme de menthe? Can't go wrong with both.
So I give this lady this concoction of tequila, white creme de menthe and green creme de menthe poured over ice, and she looks at it for a moment. And since she's on vacation, she actually takes a sip.
And bless her heart, after she recovers, she says, "Oh, you folks make them different out here."
STINGER RECIPE
Ingredients:
- 1 3/4 oz brandy
- 3/4 oz white creme de menthe
Preparation:
- Pour the ingredients into an old-fashioned glass with crushed ice.
- Stir well.
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